What would oscar say

A guy I used to work with and now lives with my close friends told me twice in one week that his favourite quote is:

“Everything is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power”

I was appalled (twice) that this was apparently his favourite quote, and even that such a quote exists. If you do a quick google of this quote it’s attributed to Oscar Wilde. But upon further inspection, people aren’t quite sure who actually said this, or when, or where. This blog post does a better job explaining the misappropriation. But that gets me off topic.

Sex isn’t about power.

Sex is about love, enjoyment, fun, satisfaction, emotions, and pleasure. It’s based on trust, respect, consent and mutual enjoyment. We’ve all had sub-par sex. We’ve all had drunken can-I-go-to-sleep-now sex. You may have also had sex where you’ve realised how vanilla your tastes are compared to that particular partner. But I hope you’ve never had sex where it is about power. Sex isn’t a weapon and it never should be used as one. Having had it used as a weapon against me, I can tell you that it is shattering. Life changing. Devastating. So many other adjectives. Sex isn’t about power. Because if power is in the equation, it isn’t sex.

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